Almost exactly a year ago, my job ended. It was a good job. I discovered a great deal about myself during my years there. I learned about my field and how to be a good contributor to a team that does what I do.
I just finished my first week in a new job. The work is similar to the old job, but new in interesting and exciting ways, which I think is exactly what one wants when one moves from one employment to the next. I find all of my new coworkers capable and supportive, a testament to the people who hired me. That is a vote of confidence for me. If I am surrounded by people who are good at their jobs and are also kind and helpful on top of that, then the people who hired me obviously saw those traits in me. This is a delightful revelation. It makes me want to live up to the high expectations, and also gives me the confidence in my own abilities that I can meet, or even exceed, those expectations. I am experiencing good leadership.
I lamented often during the last year that I was due a good turn, and it has happened. I was hired by good people at a good place to do good work. All this, I admit, is wildly fortunate. While I like to think I earned some measure of credit for what I accomplished, I accept that this good turn was helped along by what I am rather than what I did. I won’t enumerate every single point of privilege. They are obvious and I am deeply thankful for them. I know how lucky I am.
Because being happy about something good is a new experience for me, I approach it as a primitive man would approach a television set. I’m waiting for the inevitable shoe to drop, even though there is no evidence that there are any shoes up there at all. Writing this has been difficult for me. I started it twice and put it away both times. Why?
Partly, I am reluctant to talk too much about work online. This is a habit I adopted early in my life, and I think it’s generally a good idea to keep parts of your life siloed off from each other. This makes me better at everything I do, because I respond well to processes.
I am also reluctant to write about writing, because I have always thought that if one has time to write about writing, then one should be writing something. It’s a bit like buying eggs when you have a chicken at home. It’s my own little version of “if you have time to lean, you have time to clean,” a refrain heard in fast food restaurants.
I have finally accomplished my goal of writing this post, which is not important. The audience of my newsletter is small. This isn’t about you, it’s about me.
After a week of time at a job spent writing a lot, I find that my desire to write is not lessened at all. Without exception, the times I wrote the least are the times in which I have been unemployed. It was observed to me that I simply do better, overall, when I have a job. I think this is true. I have the window open to write this newsletter update and another window open to my second novel, which is tantalizingly close to a first draft.
These days are awful, but there are good things among the bad. I hope this is as true for you as it has been for me.